my grandpa is never listening to me and doesnt understand how i feel after everything and that when he does things that affect me, dont help. and i sh cs i cant find anybody to listen or understand and then when i do, it gets all messed up and i mess things up and im tired of doing that. and people are always touching me and looking at me and using me like im some toy. i dont want to be alive anymore. everything is getting so difficult for some reason and i dont know how to stop it or control it and i dont think i ever will be. i wish i could fix everything. i make everyone annoyed or mad or smth. im always a second choice, im always on the side, im always different from someone else and if im different, i get treated differently. and i hate that and no one understands it. im tired of loosing people. im tired of loosing my family members. im tired of no one being there for me and loving me like i want to be loved.
