idk but i just feel like a loser. I for the life of me dont believe in myself and that stops me from reaching my full potential. i ruined my own chances at being the best version of myself. and it's too late in my head, then i discover it wasn't. i know i can do better and can achieve that specific thing, but i wonder why i didnt or am not putting my best foot forward, like? is it because i didn't even want to do this in the first place? do i even like this subject? even when picking my major, i refuse to pick humanities... i know it's okay but i just feel like i have to pick a stem major to be valid or something, or that my potential will be reached if i pick it idk. last year was the probably the first time i reached the point of quitter mentality. last year was when competitive me died, curious me died, good me died.. maybe not all of it but, idk i feel no sense of responsibility or hurry or urgency or competitiveness or anything or even fear. i live in my head all day and i am sure i am disappointing those that had expectations from me. if only i believed in myself the way they did. astughferallah sorry for the negativity. speaking of which, i have probably never been so pessimistic and ungrateful in my entire life. like, if 3 years ago, i wouldve been receiving what i am right now, id be crying in gratitude every day and all,,, not current me tho, i keep looking at the dark side and i feel terrible abt it
yeah basically, thanks for listening 🙂
